Oh please don't let it be my sanity! Wait a minute, its 10:36 pm and Emily just busted into the office. One moment please while I put my child to bed...
10:37 and Emily is back in bed. Let's see how long this lasts.
This wasn't how I planned on starting this post, but its a perfect summation of the past few days. As I look around the house, I see laundry and dishes piled up everywhere, children sitting mindlessly in front of the TV, ungraded papers taunting me, meditation cushion collecting dust. Don't even get me started on the bathroom remodel and the garden.
I wonder where and when did I go wrong? What was the straw that broke my back? And how am I going to get back to good? (Well, listening to Matchbox 20 is a start). But all jokes aside, I am really feeling overwhelmed. Perhaps the reality of being a working-mom with no daycare and a special needs child living in an 80 year old house is starting to catch up with me.
10:46 Emily is out of bed again, if you'll excuse me.
Now its 10:48 pm, and I suppose I need a plan. Because feeling like this isn't accomplishing anything. And the plan???
Ummm
Well
Let's see...
10:49 I suppose I'll start by putting Emily back to bed.
And if you're wondering, its now 11:02 and I've put Emily to bed three times in the past 12 minutes and changed her diaper.
I'll open the floor to comments here at 11:03. Seriously. There has got to be someone out there that knows what they're doing. That person is NOT me.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Potty Training Blues
I try really really hard to be as laid back as an over-worked, over-caffeinated mom of two kids can be. Life isn't about being serious. If you're not having fun you're not doing it right.
But I have to be honest. I am NOT having fun when it comes to potty training. In fact, its been the complete opposite. I've been reduced to tears over the past few weeks as the diapers and the wet sheets and the poo-poo on the floor continues to pile up. Literally. I'm at the end of my rope, I'm down to the last resort, and if it doesn't work I really don't know what to do.
Emily began to show an aversion to wet diapers prior to her second birthday. She was probably 19 or 20 months old when she started chucking her poop diapers onto the hallway floor. At first I read this as a good sign, that she would be potty trained by her second birthday. I pulled out the training potty, the book that has a sound-effect flush button, and some high expectations. Those of you that follow this blog know none of this worked.
Emily understands that dirty diapers are yucky, and so she simply takes them off. Its worked in the past, why change the routine? At one point in the year I started dumping the poop out of the diaper into the toilet to illustrate where it actually goes. This resulted in a VERY GROSS month long period in which Emily would also dump the diaper into the toilet. It was gross because if she missed, she scooped them up with her hands. How we didn't have any trips to the hospital for E coli poisoning ins anyone's guess.
I kept the potty out but didn't push the issue, following the old adage that they'll go when they're ready. Well an entire year has passed and I'm still cleaning accidents. I decided a few weeks ago to try the potty training in one day method, which involves allowing the child to run around in the yard in nothing but a T-shirt for the entire day. Mom feeds the child lots of salty snacks and juice to really get things flowing. The child is supposed to have an accident or two, freak out, and then use the potty which is conveniently located near the juice and snacks.
The plan sounded perfect, and all was in order to proceed, when the torrential rains and 60 mph winds rolled in. Not a problem, I thought. I'll simply keep her in the kitchen. She can't possibly get into that much trouble. I got her to sit on the potty many many times, but had no luck. I turned around to pour a cup of coffee when she had the first accident. I was making peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches when she had the second accident. She pooped on the floor behind my back when I was cleaning up mess number two. And then I ran out of paper towels, and it was only 11:30 am. UGH.
That was a few weeks ago. We are going to try again this weekend. I figure our schedule is working for the most part, so maybe potty training will too. I have a few things going for me that I didn't have last time. (1) The weather is looking good (2) Ryan is going to be home to take care of Nora and make all of the food so I will not need to turn my back from Emily (3) I have stocked up on paper towels and (4) Per Shelly and Sue's advice, I am going to make a picture book of how and when to use the potty with photos from our home.
Point number four seems really gross to me. I will have to invest in a color ink cartridge because I will die at my own hand before I have a picture of a used toilet bowl printed at Walgreens. However, PECS has worked in the past to teach her words, so there is no reason to think it won't work in this instance. Oh my goodness, the things we must do for our children.
But I have to be honest. I am NOT having fun when it comes to potty training. In fact, its been the complete opposite. I've been reduced to tears over the past few weeks as the diapers and the wet sheets and the poo-poo on the floor continues to pile up. Literally. I'm at the end of my rope, I'm down to the last resort, and if it doesn't work I really don't know what to do.
Emily began to show an aversion to wet diapers prior to her second birthday. She was probably 19 or 20 months old when she started chucking her poop diapers onto the hallway floor. At first I read this as a good sign, that she would be potty trained by her second birthday. I pulled out the training potty, the book that has a sound-effect flush button, and some high expectations. Those of you that follow this blog know none of this worked.
Emily understands that dirty diapers are yucky, and so she simply takes them off. Its worked in the past, why change the routine? At one point in the year I started dumping the poop out of the diaper into the toilet to illustrate where it actually goes. This resulted in a VERY GROSS month long period in which Emily would also dump the diaper into the toilet. It was gross because if she missed, she scooped them up with her hands. How we didn't have any trips to the hospital for E coli poisoning ins anyone's guess.
I kept the potty out but didn't push the issue, following the old adage that they'll go when they're ready. Well an entire year has passed and I'm still cleaning accidents. I decided a few weeks ago to try the potty training in one day method, which involves allowing the child to run around in the yard in nothing but a T-shirt for the entire day. Mom feeds the child lots of salty snacks and juice to really get things flowing. The child is supposed to have an accident or two, freak out, and then use the potty which is conveniently located near the juice and snacks.
The plan sounded perfect, and all was in order to proceed, when the torrential rains and 60 mph winds rolled in. Not a problem, I thought. I'll simply keep her in the kitchen. She can't possibly get into that much trouble. I got her to sit on the potty many many times, but had no luck. I turned around to pour a cup of coffee when she had the first accident. I was making peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches when she had the second accident. She pooped on the floor behind my back when I was cleaning up mess number two. And then I ran out of paper towels, and it was only 11:30 am. UGH.
That was a few weeks ago. We are going to try again this weekend. I figure our schedule is working for the most part, so maybe potty training will too. I have a few things going for me that I didn't have last time. (1) The weather is looking good (2) Ryan is going to be home to take care of Nora and make all of the food so I will not need to turn my back from Emily (3) I have stocked up on paper towels and (4) Per Shelly and Sue's advice, I am going to make a picture book of how and when to use the potty with photos from our home.
Point number four seems really gross to me. I will have to invest in a color ink cartridge because I will die at my own hand before I have a picture of a used toilet bowl printed at Walgreens. However, PECS has worked in the past to teach her words, so there is no reason to think it won't work in this instance. Oh my goodness, the things we must do for our children.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Speech Therapy: An Overview
Now that Emily is three years old, there are going to be some major changes to her therapy routine. Since her birthday is in the summer, however, we won't begin to see those changes until the fall. Why? Well, even though Emily has officially "aged-out" of the Illinois Early Intervention system, she can continue the same services through private insurance. While this costs a lot more for us in terms of having a weekly co-pay, it is worth every penny. I can't even begin to quantify the number of positive changes I see in my daughter because of the love and one-on-one attention provided by Shelly, Sue, and Angie.
One thing I have wanted to do, as the weeks of therapy have turned into months, is to keep a weekly record of her progress here on the blog. As you know, this never happened. What can I say? I'm a busy lady. So, what I've decided to do instead is to write three separate entries that provide an overview of the progress she has made and continues to make. This week will focus on speech.
Emily continues to see Miss Shelly for speech once a week for 30 minutes, followed by 30 minutes of combined Speech and OT. For the past few weeks, Shelly has been training Miss Kate, who joins in on the sessions. Here's a sampling of what they have all done together:
February 18: Verbalized "Ready, set go!" sounded like "Webby-de-doe!" using a See-and-Say.
March 11: New words in her vocabulary include "Orange, cookie, cracker, want ball, thank you, down, up, in, ring" (all thanks to PECS, the once hated now loved communication device).
March 25: Words used while playing with a tow-truck included "uh-oh, oh-no, stop, and again". (Boy toys like cars and trucks continue to fascinate her).
April 8: Spontaneous sentences while playing with a race-car ramp and Little People barn including, "How about cars? Where is cow? Get the barn". (Again these are pretty hard to understand. Shelly and I hear it but I wonder who else would?)
April 22: Starting to learn colors! (Mom is thrilled. This is black coffee, Emily. This is light brown chai tea latte. Mmmmm....)
May 5: Played with wind up toys. Able to name animals on request including dog, cat, frog, butterfly, caterpillar, lady bug, and dinosaur. Even said, "Dog, please" and a few other two word combos. Working hard at home on the word please. Other words at home include, "I like ice-cream!" and "Stuck!". (Everything that doesn't bow to her command is stuck).
May 19: Emily had a hard time being evaluated. Spontaneous language included, "Ok ma", "Right down there", "Baba drink", and "On top".
June 9: While playing barnyard bingo and Nerf rockets, Emily said, "Reach!", "It's my turn", "Look I picked yellow!", "Kate turn", "Ouch!", "There it is", "Oh look!!! A cow!". Can count to 9.
When we started with Shelly in January, Emily had a total of 15 to 20 words in her vocabulary. She barely used those. Today, the difference is amazing. She knows the names of toys, animals, and colors. She can make requests using both please and thank-you. She can tell you her opinion, as "like" and "yuck" are also mainstays of her vocabulary. Everyday she is beginning to use more sentences and less one-word requests. Pretty soon I am going to have not one, but two VERY chatty little girls!
To see more images from Emily's time with Shelly, Sue, and Kate please click on the image below.
 |
| Emily's Speech/OT Therapy |
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Redefining Normal
We have been back from Florida for several weeks now, and its been nothing short of mayhem. The excitement of enjoying our free time quickly dissolved as I realized I had no idea what to do with these girls. All three of us are creatures of habit, and the onset of summer vacation for Nora, coupled with my new teaching schedule, has left the house and its inhabitants feeling upside down. The influx of stuff, from jewelry to dresses to bone china teacups, hasn't helped anyone feel better either.
I spent the first week back unpacking, reliving memories, and trying to get the girls back on track. The first week failed. Its hard to recreate a sense of flowing from one activity to the next when everyone has a different idea about when to eat, sleep, play, etc. Even now, it seems like everyone is on a different schedule, but starting today I decided to break rule #1: Never wake the sleeping children up. I don't think I have a choice. Emily gets up at 6:45, while Nora sleeps until 8:45. How can I make breakfast and have us eat as a family with a two hour time difference? That two hours throws off the rest of the day, as tummies get hungry for snack and meals at different times. Plus, by the time Nora finally wakes up and is alert, Emily is ready for a nap. I can't win.
Since we are creatures of habit, I've decided to take a cue from Nora's school and from Miss Shelly's speech sessions. I am making a daily schedule. I have a daily routine broken down by time, and then there will be pictures of the activities that the girls can pick from taken from the PECS book. Instead of shopping in the PECS book for whatever whenever, there will be two options for the girls to pick from at any given time. This should eliminate my two biggest problems at the moment, being (1) Boredom/restlessness and (2) Never-ending snacks.
Here is the routine I came up with for Monday through Friday. Let's see if it works.
7:00 - 8:00 Breakfast
8:00 - 9:30 Free time with small toys (Little People for example)
9:30 -10:30 Take a walk; play in backyard
10:30-10:45 Fresh fruit/veggie snack
10:45-12:00 Yard chores
12:00-12:30 Lunch
12:30- 1:00 Clean-up lunch, make bed, other cleaning
1:00 -2:00 Art and Music and Dress-up Play
2:00 -3:00 Free time with larger toys (Kitchen, tent, trips to playground)
3:00 -5:00 Movie time/computer games
5:00 -6:00 Dinner and clean-up chores
6:00 -7:00 Time with Dad
7:00 -8:00 Bath and bed time routine
8:00 Stories then lights out
The block of time from 1:00 to 3:00 can also serve as my errand running time, if need be. Sometimes we will go to the park; sometimes we'll go to the store. But I figure if I keep running around to the same time, it will be easier to Emily to transition from one activity to another.
WISH ME LUCK!!! Because this is going to require some discipline on my part as well.
I spent the first week back unpacking, reliving memories, and trying to get the girls back on track. The first week failed. Its hard to recreate a sense of flowing from one activity to the next when everyone has a different idea about when to eat, sleep, play, etc. Even now, it seems like everyone is on a different schedule, but starting today I decided to break rule #1: Never wake the sleeping children up. I don't think I have a choice. Emily gets up at 6:45, while Nora sleeps until 8:45. How can I make breakfast and have us eat as a family with a two hour time difference? That two hours throws off the rest of the day, as tummies get hungry for snack and meals at different times. Plus, by the time Nora finally wakes up and is alert, Emily is ready for a nap. I can't win.
Since we are creatures of habit, I've decided to take a cue from Nora's school and from Miss Shelly's speech sessions. I am making a daily schedule. I have a daily routine broken down by time, and then there will be pictures of the activities that the girls can pick from taken from the PECS book. Instead of shopping in the PECS book for whatever whenever, there will be two options for the girls to pick from at any given time. This should eliminate my two biggest problems at the moment, being (1) Boredom/restlessness and (2) Never-ending snacks.
Here is the routine I came up with for Monday through Friday. Let's see if it works.
7:00 - 8:00 Breakfast
8:00 - 9:30 Free time with small toys (Little People for example)
9:30 -10:30 Take a walk; play in backyard
10:30-10:45 Fresh fruit/veggie snack
10:45-12:00 Yard chores
12:00-12:30 Lunch
12:30- 1:00 Clean-up lunch, make bed, other cleaning
1:00 -2:00 Art and Music and Dress-up Play
2:00 -3:00 Free time with larger toys (Kitchen, tent, trips to playground)
3:00 -5:00 Movie time/computer games
5:00 -6:00 Dinner and clean-up chores
6:00 -7:00 Time with Dad
7:00 -8:00 Bath and bed time routine
8:00 Stories then lights out
The block of time from 1:00 to 3:00 can also serve as my errand running time, if need be. Sometimes we will go to the park; sometimes we'll go to the store. But I figure if I keep running around to the same time, it will be easier to Emily to transition from one activity to another.
WISH ME LUCK!!! Because this is going to require some discipline on my part as well.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Momma's Blog is One Today!!!
Just a bit of self-reverential news...Momma Needs Another Cup of Coffee is one year old today!!! Whoo-hoo!
To celebrate the blog's first anniversary, look for changes in the coming days in the layout and design of the site. That's how it goes these days, right? New and improved.
I'm also publishing a copy for me, just in case Google goes bust. Turns out the printing service I chose can't put in pics from the links, so I'm in the process of editing some of the older posts by adding the photos into the story.
I have to say that overall I'm pretty happy with where this project has gone so far. This blog probably contains as much text as my master's thesis, but this is much more fun and way more interesting! People actually read this stuff. I am looking forward to seeing where its going to go in the future. Now that I have a new laptop (thank you Ryan) I will be able to write anywhere, and uploading pictures is a breeze.
I'm also happy to announce my friend Carolina has started a blog. She found part of her inspiration here at Momma. Some of you know Carolina, and I highly recommend following her at http://carolina-theseinfeldblog.blogspot.com.
Finally, I want to say THANK YOU to everyone out there reading this. I keep writing because of you.
To celebrate the blog's first anniversary, look for changes in the coming days in the layout and design of the site. That's how it goes these days, right? New and improved.
I'm also publishing a copy for me, just in case Google goes bust. Turns out the printing service I chose can't put in pics from the links, so I'm in the process of editing some of the older posts by adding the photos into the story.
I have to say that overall I'm pretty happy with where this project has gone so far. This blog probably contains as much text as my master's thesis, but this is much more fun and way more interesting! People actually read this stuff. I am looking forward to seeing where its going to go in the future. Now that I have a new laptop (thank you Ryan) I will be able to write anywhere, and uploading pictures is a breeze.
I'm also happy to announce my friend Carolina has started a blog. She found part of her inspiration here at Momma. Some of you know Carolina, and I highly recommend following her at http://carolina-theseinfeldblog.blogspot.com.
Finally, I want to say THANK YOU to everyone out there reading this. I keep writing because of you.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Happy 3rd Birthday Emily!
Dear Emily,
I wanted to write you a note you can read once you're a little older, and give you something you can keep after I'm gone. If I've learned anything this year its this, life is short. You can't take it with you when you go. And the only thing that counts is how you treat others. I want you to know that I try to make sure everything I do for you is done with love. (Of course sometimes I fail. I am not perfect).
You have grown so much, not only in the past three years, but in the last six months. Your personality is really starting to shine through, and its wonderful to share a home and a life with someone who is filled with so much joy, curiosity, and mischief!!! I love to watch you experiment with water toys in the backyard. Its fun to see you play with all of your animal toys, making the noises for the animals as they talk to each other. The trouble you cause also keeps all members of the household on their toes. Just this morning, there were cashews and Triscuits on the floor. First breakfast perhaps?
Your language is really emerging, with words for the things you love at the top of the list. Six short months ago you couldn't say ice-cream cone, animal cracker, root beer, juice, apple sauce, or shortcake (strawberry in Emily speak). Your absolute love of all things music is something that makes your father beam with pride. Can I tell you a secret? Sometimes I hide around the corner and watch you sing and dance when you think you're all alone. Being your mom is nothing short of a miracle and a joy. I hope, as you grown, that you can continue to find happiness through music and art and dance.
Emily I love you so much! Really, the amount of love I feel for you seems to be much larger than my body, I can feel it beaming out of my heart like light beaming from the sun. You and Nora and your father mean the world to me. I can give you root beer for breakfast because its your birthday, but you've given me so much in return. You bring out the best in me (and the worst too...but how can I be a better person if I didn't have someone testing me??) I couldn't ask for more. Happy third birthday sweetie belle! I can't wait to see what the next year has in store for you.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Good bye Grandma Mom and Grandpa
DAY 7
I have gone back and forth on writing this blog entry for a week now, but I've decided to go ahead and write about my experience on the way home from Florida. All I ask is that you read this with an open mind. You are free to believe me or not. Please keep in mind, however, that this is a really sensitive topic for me and my family, so please no rude comments. If you think I'm crazy, that's fine. In some ways I am. :)
The morning we left Florida did not go according to plan. We didn't make it out the door until 10:30, due to a lot of last minute packing etc. I truly felt on edge, in part, because on the way home we were stopping at the cemetery in which my grandparents ashes were interred. Their headstone had been placed just a few days prior, and I wanted to take pictures to show my mom and dad. I also wanted Nora to understand where Grandma and Grandpa's bodies gone.
Prior to shutting the back gate to the van, I snapped a picture of all the stuff in the back. I put the lens on the camera, and popped it in my purse. We then made the treck to Sarasota National Cemetery. I parked the van and Nora and I searched for my Grandpa's grave. It was easy to find; the back row. They were among the most recent of the dead. The emotions I'd been feeling all week welled up and then out, and I started to cry. Nora stood next to me and said it was ok. I pulled myself together, for her sake, and told her that it was her job to put the flowers she picked out in the ground. It was a present from us to them. As she placed the flowers, I began to snap a few pictures. I was having a hard time with the viewfinder, it didn't seem to be working with the shine of the sun. The same thing had happened at the beach. I did my best to aim, looking at the viewfinder and the grave. All seemed normal. I was upset, however, because I only saw my Grandfather's stone. I wondered aloud where they had placed my Grandmother.
I brought Nora back to the van so I could have a few minutes alone. A worker approached me and apologized for eavesdropping, but he said my Grandmother's information was on the backside of the same stone. I went to the other side and there it was. I cried, and cried, and cried. After I was done with my goodbye, I took a few more pictures to show my mom. I was still having trouble with the viewfinder, so I made sure to get another shot of the front of the tombstone as well, just to be on the safe side.
I went to back to the van, so my Grandma Esther could pay her respects. And then, long story short, I drove like a bat out of hell to Byron, GA. I just wanted to get home.
I never checked the pictures until I got back to IL, several days later. And I couldn't believe what I saw. At first I thought I screwed up the pictures. But then I looked closer. The picture I took when we left, the one of the van, was fine. The second set of pictures from the grave site was also fine. The first set of pictures I took with Nora had something in them that I did not see with my eyes when I stood there in Florida. There are white shadows, or mists, or clouds of sorts. I looked, and continue to look, at those pictures. Those figures are not smudges, they are not humidity, they are not accidents of the camera. I am convinced, CONVINCED, that those pictures show my grandparents. I believe they were there to say their goodbyes as well.
I have always believed in life after death. I have always believed we are not our bodies. I now believe I have pictures that seemingly prove this point. You look, you see, you judge. Of course you can believe what you will. But I will treasure these photos as a testament that not only are my grandparents actually ok, but that they love Nora and I enough to come back from the otherside for a moment to say goodbye to us as well.
I have gone back and forth on writing this blog entry for a week now, but I've decided to go ahead and write about my experience on the way home from Florida. All I ask is that you read this with an open mind. You are free to believe me or not. Please keep in mind, however, that this is a really sensitive topic for me and my family, so please no rude comments. If you think I'm crazy, that's fine. In some ways I am. :)
The morning we left Florida did not go according to plan. We didn't make it out the door until 10:30, due to a lot of last minute packing etc. I truly felt on edge, in part, because on the way home we were stopping at the cemetery in which my grandparents ashes were interred. Their headstone had been placed just a few days prior, and I wanted to take pictures to show my mom and dad. I also wanted Nora to understand where Grandma and Grandpa's bodies gone.
Prior to shutting the back gate to the van, I snapped a picture of all the stuff in the back. I put the lens on the camera, and popped it in my purse. We then made the treck to Sarasota National Cemetery. I parked the van and Nora and I searched for my Grandpa's grave. It was easy to find; the back row. They were among the most recent of the dead. The emotions I'd been feeling all week welled up and then out, and I started to cry. Nora stood next to me and said it was ok. I pulled myself together, for her sake, and told her that it was her job to put the flowers she picked out in the ground. It was a present from us to them. As she placed the flowers, I began to snap a few pictures. I was having a hard time with the viewfinder, it didn't seem to be working with the shine of the sun. The same thing had happened at the beach. I did my best to aim, looking at the viewfinder and the grave. All seemed normal. I was upset, however, because I only saw my Grandfather's stone. I wondered aloud where they had placed my Grandmother.
I brought Nora back to the van so I could have a few minutes alone. A worker approached me and apologized for eavesdropping, but he said my Grandmother's information was on the backside of the same stone. I went to the other side and there it was. I cried, and cried, and cried. After I was done with my goodbye, I took a few more pictures to show my mom. I was still having trouble with the viewfinder, so I made sure to get another shot of the front of the tombstone as well, just to be on the safe side.
I went to back to the van, so my Grandma Esther could pay her respects. And then, long story short, I drove like a bat out of hell to Byron, GA. I just wanted to get home.
I never checked the pictures until I got back to IL, several days later. And I couldn't believe what I saw. At first I thought I screwed up the pictures. But then I looked closer. The picture I took when we left, the one of the van, was fine. The second set of pictures from the grave site was also fine. The first set of pictures I took with Nora had something in them that I did not see with my eyes when I stood there in Florida. There are white shadows, or mists, or clouds of sorts. I looked, and continue to look, at those pictures. Those figures are not smudges, they are not humidity, they are not accidents of the camera. I am convinced, CONVINCED, that those pictures show my grandparents. I believe they were there to say their goodbyes as well.
I have always believed in life after death. I have always believed we are not our bodies. I now believe I have pictures that seemingly prove this point. You look, you see, you judge. Of course you can believe what you will. But I will treasure these photos as a testament that not only are my grandparents actually ok, but that they love Nora and I enough to come back from the otherside for a moment to say goodbye to us as well.
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