Momma Learns to Knit...sorta

Just a quick little note to say that this winter I took up knitting as a hobby, and while I enjoy it immensely, I am terrible at it! My first big project was to make Nora a scarf, and I'm glad I took pictures because its already starting to unravel. I will try to make her another scarf before next winter because this one may not make it. I'm not too upset though, she really liked it and that's all that matters!

The Royal Children's Ball

If you were to ask Nora and Emily what would constitute the perfect fairytale evening, they would tell you that it would include dressing up like a princess, wearing a crown, eating cake and ice-cream, visiting a castle, and dancing to Disney Princess music at a ball.

Well, the first annual Royal Children's Ball provided that and so much more! At the beginning of February I began to see ads announcing that a Royal Ball was going to be held at Altgeld Castle on the NIU campus. It sounded like fun to me, and I'm an adult, so I figured the kids would love it. The price tag was a bit hefty; $15 dollars per person, but the money was going to help fund after school programs, so really it was a win-win situation.

Getting ready for the ball gave me a little insight into what its going to take to get the girls ready for prom when they're older. Oh my gosh...I spent all day long steaming our dresses and finding the right shoes and jewelry. As soon as Nora got home from school, I did her hair up in rollers. Then it was hair and make-up for the three of us, and I had a hard time remembering where my tiara and gloves were hiding! (I hadn't worn them since my wedding day; it took a bit of effort on my part to dig that stuff out. As for my dress...that had to be dug out also. It was the dress I wore to Lisa and Bob's wedding). Unfortunately it was raining and terribly cold, but Ryan was kind enough to drop us off at the castle so we didn't have to walk through the dreary elements. However, the girls radiated sunshine and excitement during the drive to the castle; it was easy to feel like spring is on the way!

Nora and Emily were overwhelmed from the moment we stepped inside the castle. A red carpet wound its way up an ornate, curved staircase that led to the ballroom. The ballroom itself was built in 1895 and recently restored, so it was all marble and gilding and polished wood. The Victorian atmosphere, which could be daunting for some kids, was lightened up quite a bit by balloon sculptures and twinkling lights. A grape juice fountain greeted us, as did a pile of Sweet Dreams cupcakes. Everywhere we turned, little girls dressed in head-to-toe frills danced about, young knights and pirates ran through the crowd. It was so cool. Of course the girls wanted cupcakes, so we sat down and ate those first. We danced a little, and then Nora stood in line (for ever!) to get a tiara. I have to admit she looked beautiful when she was done, but during the wait, Emily became very comfortable coloring at the table next to the beauty booth and I spent most of my evening with her there from that point forwards.

They really did a great job making everything kid friendly. There were crayons and fruit snacks at all the tables. Waiters came around with mini hot-dogs and chicken nuggets. Emily and I made crafts while Nora ran off and danced with some of the girls from her school. (That, I admit, was a bit hard. Letting her run off to dance while I stayed out of the way seemed strange, but I have to get used to the idea that she has a life outside of me!)

The evening went very well until about 8pm. At that point they put out the "all you can eat, build your own ice-cream sundae" custard and candies. Oh NOOOO. Major mom dilemma! Within minutes there were hundreds of people standing around us stuffing their faces with Culvers. So tempting, but dairy is so bad for the girls tummies! What to do, what to do??? My heart ended up trumping all common sense when the girls starting begging for a sundae. I wanted to make them happy, I wanted then to fit in, and so we all ate very delicious desserts. Emily had eaten about half of hers when she started complaining that her tummy hurt; Nora managed to eat her entire serving before deciding she had had too much. Oh dear. The evening started to go downhill from there, because they didn't feel good, it was past their bedtime, and they didn't want to leave! Nora continued to run around with some friends while Emily and I tried to walk off the tummy ache.

The evening's festivities came to an end at 9pm, not a moment too soon! I was happy to have an excuse to leave, because the girls were DONE. We left in exhausted tears. At the time I wasn't too happy myself, but in hindsight it was awfully predictable and somewhat funny. These little girls had too much of a good thing and it showed! I've never seen someone fall asleep the moment their head hit the pillow, and after all of our fun, I witnessed two little girls fall asleep in less time than it takes to snap your fingers. I'm sure they dreamed of dancing and sweets.

To view the pics of us all dressed up, click the image below.

Royal Children's Ball

Captain Caveman Gets a Haircut

If you haven't figured it out from the photo, Captain Caveman is one of Emily's nicknames. We could have opted for Cousin It, but its more fun to yell "CAAAPPPTAINNNN CAAAAAAAVEMANNN!" when she's running around the house in nothing but underpants with utterly tangled hair flying behind her.

Em's hair has always been a mess. She is so sensitive about it getting combed, about it getting washed, about anyone trying to do anything to it. She has had professional hair-cuts before, but I usually wait months and months in-between because the experience is traumatic for all involved. Case in point: Her last trip to the salon was just before school started in August. She refused to have it washed. She had to sit on my lap so I could hold her arms and legs down to keep her from flailing around. Did I mention she cried and screamed the entire time? It seems there is little difference between a hair-cut and torture in her eyes, and people were leaving the salon. How the lady didn't accidentally cut her ear or poke my eye is both beyond me and a true testament to the professionalism of the ladies at the Hair Cuttery. As for me, well, I try my best to laugh it off, and on the outside I do, but sometimes its hard to be the mom with the out-of-control kid. So instead of paying for the privilege of torturing my kid every six weeks, I usually wait every six months. In the meantime she morphs into Captain Caveman.

Well, Emily's hair started to get long, longer than it had ever been. It would take me 5 minutes to comb it, 5 VERY LONG minutes of trying to tease out what seemed like hundreds of tiny tangles. Poor Em would cry and scream and say, "No comb-y hair! No comb-y hair!". Sometimes she'd hit and bite to let me know she really wanted me to stay away. I finally asked her if it would be okay if she got her hair cut. I explained if she sat still and let the "special lady" cut her hair, it wouldn't hurt so much anymore. She listened intently and said, "Yes, cut hair!" and I was so pleased. I was less pleased when, later that day, Nora ran to tell me that Emily had gotten some scissors. Luckily she only chopped off a few bits in the back, so I was able to wait until payday to get her hair done.

And what a hair do it is! Captain Caveman is no more! She was such a good girl for Stephanie at the Hair Cuttery that she was able to get a bob. For the first time ever, she had her hair washed in a sink, and she sat in the chair all by herself. When she started to freak out about the comb, we gave her a sucker and she put all of her attention on the candy as planned. She was so well behaved, I honestly didn't even recognize her. The change was like night and day. I was so happy and proud I actually teared up a little. In that salon I saw for the first time that Emily will be able to fit in to the rest of society, that she's not always going to need special services. Someone actually told me how well behaved she was!!! Never ever did I think I would have that kind of day. After all, its just a hair cut. But it was so much more. My little ragamuffin has grown into a chic fashionista! Oh who the heck am I kidding...she still prefers undies to clothes. Well, its good-bye Captain Caveman, and hello to Captain Underpants!

Zoo Day!

Winter feels like it will never end. We've been stuck inside for weeks now; the excitement of the blizzard is long gone. So when the weatherman called for a 50 degree day here in the middle of February, I made the executive decision to pull Nora out of school and take the kids to the zoo. It only made sense; after all, it's a really easy outing for me since the girls know what to expect. The days of Emily having a tantrum there because she is overwhelmed are long gone. Those stressful days of praying she stays in the wagon have been replaced by days of good behavior, increased language skills, exploring, and exercise. Plus its just fun, and sometimes a mom just wants to have fun with her children.

This trip was great with the exception of the dolphin show. The "dolphin disappointment" was really all my fault. Nora has wanted to see the dolphin show for ages. I told her how great it was going to be. The animals would jump through hoops and bounce balls off their noses, and more. She was expecting a spectacle, but what we got was closer to a TV show narrating the life of a zoo animal. Sure there was music and there were dolphins. But I thought it was boring, Emily wanted to jump into the tank, and Nora was sorely disappointed. While I understand that the zoo is trying to move away from a circus/exploit the animals model towards an educational/provide for the animals stance, I felt they should not have called it the dolphin "show". It was a dolphin educational lecture. Nora was so disappointed when we left that she sat down on a bench and started crying. Total bummer. I promised I'd take her to Sea World someday. At least there she can pet the dolphins.

I realized I'd have to do some quick maneuvering to help Nora recover her day, so off we went to the playground. Nora hadn't been on any playground equipment since breaking her arm, and her demeanor quickly turned around after a few turns on the slide. She and Emily and every other child was gleeful to be out in the sun. Fifty degrees in February is a rare thing to be enjoyed, and we all did. We played for a quite a while; so long in fact that I was afraid we'd not see any other animals at all if we didn't get going, so off we went.

We did see a lot, too much to document in complete detail. But we did pet a goat and a baby chick and a horse; visited our favorite friends in the monkey house, and had many of the exhibits to ourselves including the bird and reptile house. Because we were the only ones there, the girls could move at their own pace; could explore without their Momma hovering, something completely new and loved by Emily. Nora was over the moon to see the zookeepers feeding the penguins, her new favorite animal, and we spent a lot of time watching them eat and swim. We didn't leave until the other birds in the exhibit began dive bombing the crowd and scaring the kids (and half of the adults as well). My favorite exhibit was, surprisingly, the newly opened swamp exhibit. I really thought I was going to like the new Bear Wilderness better, but the Swamp had a lot of interactive displays for the kids and a "boat" we rested in for a while. There were lovely birds and critters to see, and I fell in love with the cutest little Illinois otter. I had no idea there were otters in this state!

The funniest episode happened during our second trip to the playground. Surrounding the equipment are picnic tables, and roaming amongst the chipmunks and squirrels are several large peacocks. One peacock, a beautiful male, jumped on the table and extended his plumes. He was truly magnificent, and much larger than I ever imagined. I got the girls off the monkey bars so they could get a better look. Nora said, "MOM!!!! Quick, get the phone and call the zoo manager! The animals are getting out!!!!" She was so serious, it took every last drop of effort to not roll on the ground laughing. I assured her all was well, and it was. We had a wonderful day I'm not likely to forget for a while.

Zoo Day!

Emily's Progress Report: A++ for the teachers and the student!

On Thursday I was lucky to have the opportunity to see Emily during school. Parents were invited to spend an hour in the classroom with their child to see what a typical day is like. I don't ever remember my schools doing this when I was young, and what a shame! I learned so much more in that one hour than from all of the notes home and parent conferences combined. A lot of the time I feel a little out of the loop when it comes to her education, since the bus takes her and I rarely step inside her classroom. This was a most welcome opportunity. Emily showed me her favorite puzzles, painted me a picture, and showed off on the fancy computer equipment they have for classroom activity time. After seeing all of the resources on hand for Emily and her peers, it is little surprise that she is making so many strides.

Emily and a friend painting. Everyday the kids have a free-play period, and at least 2 times a week Emily chooses art.

Here Emily is sitting on the pillow while the other children take their turn on the big computer, and then it was her turn. She had to pick a letter (she picked "E"), and then she played a matching game in which she dragged and dropped the letters across the board.

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In addition to having fun playing with Emily, I got the chance to see how her classroom is run. All I can say is that Emily has an amazing team of teachers and specialists working on her behalf, and I am so truly grateful. In addition to her teacher Mrs. Mack, there are 2 classroom helpers that just adore the kids. There are 3 adults and 10 kids. This may seem like a lot, but remember most of these kids have severe delays. Some can't talk, one little boy was in a wheelchair, and most aren't potty trained. A lot of one-on-one time is needed just for the simple things. There is also a speech therapist and a occupational therapist on site working with all of the Early Childhood classrooms (Em is in one of three or four classes). They all tell me that they are pleased with her progress.

Speaking of progress, Ryan and I have noted two major changes in Emily over the past few weeks. After swimming at Shane's birthday party in late January, Emily told me about "the beach". Since then, she has slowly but surly begun talking about events in her recent past. Ladies and gents, this is simply amazing!!! She has never really shown an understanding for much outside of the present moment. Out of sight, out of mind. But not anymore! The only thing that is slightly confusing is that she hasn't mastered the idea of past tense verbs yet, so we have to decipher what she's talking about based on our understanding of her day. For example, when Ryan came home for lunch she said "I peed my pants!" I was shocked, because she had peed in her pants earlier that morning and I couldn't believe she had done it twice. Well, she hadn't. She was just sharing the events of her day. When we got home from the zoo, she said, "Animals! Zoo animals!". No verbs there, but again she was telling her Dad about something she had seen rather than what was in the room.

The other big-to-do involves potty training. She is still not trained by any stretch of the imagination. I have thus concluded that, in addition to not being able to hold a pencil with the correct grasp, she can't fully control all the muscles needed in order to use the toilet like the rest of us. She is in underpants during the day, but we set a timer and put her on the potty at the prescribed time. As noted above, an extra helping of juice can put the schedule out of whack. Oh my poor floors. Anyhow, there has been progress, and now I am hopeful she will be potty trained by her 5th birthday (that is sadly not an exaggeration, its realistic). Twice in the past week Emily has said, "I pooped my pants" but actually meant she needed to go. She has come up to me before the accident and used the potty. Again, there is a bit of a language barrier because she doesn't understand tenses, but the idea got across nonetheless. I am thrilled. Someday I will not be changing her diapers or mopping puddles off the floor.

Emily's progress is off the charts. I wish some of her first therapists could see her now. They wouldn't recognize this social, imaginative, almost-chatty, sweet girl. I am so happy for Emily, and blessed to have such amazing teachers in our life. I know I couldn't raise her properly without their help, love, and support.

Random Silly Pics

Well I shared a pic of baby Nora, so I had to share one of Emily too! This was taken on September 27, 2007. She was almost four months old. Still prefered nothing but a diaper back then too!

 

Momma got a new job...

Even though I've been teaching for the past three years, for the most part I think of myself as a stay-at-home mom. I've tried to do my teaching duties (grading, writing lectures, more grading) when the kids are at school or when they're in bed. I've tried, but in that I've failed. I've been more of a work-at-home mom, and quite honestly, I don't think its working out for the girls.

This is a big problem, or rather, a big conflict of interest. I like what I do, and its always been important to me to make sure my lectures are polished. That takes time, a lot of time, and slowly but surely I've been finding more and more of that time during the day when I'm supposed to be taking care of the girls. Instead of spending time together, Nora and Emily have been amusing themselves in the playroom. While this isn't bad once in a while, it became all too often when I was teaching three classes. I hate the phrase, "Not now girls, I'm busy on the computer". Worse is the whiny, "I'm Workingggggg"

At the end of last semester, I realized I'd given up all of my time with the girls and I wasn't even happy with the online course I'd developed. Something had to change. The writing was really on the wall when, as the spring semester approached, most of my classes were empty. Why I was surprised at this foreseeable development is still a mystery to me; my spring enrollments are always low. That is what I get for teaching at weird, off the wall times (evenings and weekends). However, its that or not teach at all. The pay is so measly for what I do, and there's no guaranteeing a class will run, so finding suitable daycare options for the girls is impossible. Its not uncommon for me to have less than 48 hours notice if I am working or not; how can anyone line up quality care for their kids in 48 hours? And certainly its not fair to find someone willing to watch the girls only to fire them before they begin. Not my style!

Let's review...when I teach my kids are neglected. When I teach, I never know when or for how long my gig will last, so I can't give the girls any kind of predictability, something Emily needs in order to keep talking. When I teach, I don't make a lot of money, but it helps. When I don't teach, my poor husband worries about paying the bills. Oh yeah, and if I'm teaching, its always during cheap airfare season so we never ever get to go anywhere. (Feel free to read that as a whine).

Seriously, is it any surprise I went looking for jobs that were not adjunct teaching??

Anyways, I'm pleased to announce I was hired by my alma mater, and I begin a sweet, part-time gig next month. I'll be working in the Department of Southeast Asian Studies 3 days a week. It pays enough for me to hire someone to watch Emily in the afternoons, and Nora will be able to go to school full time. I will interact with a lot of foreign students and staff, and will get a thorough education in the behind-the-scenes aspects of study abroad, something I've wanted to do for years. Best part? I can still teach one ART 100 class a semester, but if I don't teach, its no big deal. (And maybe we could actually go somewhere??)

This new job is a 2 year post. At the end of the 2 years, Emily will be in kindergarten, and I can decide at that point what will come next for me and our family. Will I pursue my academic dreams or become a hippie? Go back to school for an Ed.D or landscape design? Maybe Ryan and I will start a non-profit charity. Maybe we'll run off to Italy...I hear they're our greatest European ally at the moment. We could teach English while the girls learn italiano. Or stay put, because I like being an office assistant! Who knows where this journey will take us. Its always exciting to start something new.