Wednesday, July 25, 2012

In Memoriam: Mulder the Orange Cat

Mulder in his favorite chair in our DeKalb apartment
Today is a very sad day for our family.  Our dear, sweet kitty Mulder died in his sleep last night.  We are all very saddened by this news, but are taking some comfort in the fact that he met his final day peacefully, and that for a cat he lived a good life.  He deserved that; he was a good cat.

Mulder and his brother Scully joined Ryan and I on August 16, 1999.  (Yes we did name them after Agents Mulder and Scully on the X-Files.  It was 1999 for goodness sake!)  I adopted them from the local shelter on the anniversary of our first date.  We were already living together, and I wanted a gift that would grow with our relationship.  Plus, Ryan had had an orange cat when he was a kid that he just loved, and I thought the choice of an orange cat was especially meaningful.

Mulder was Ryan's cat from the start.  I don't think he actually liked me all that much!  But we both loved him.  He was very well behaved, and quiet.  He preferred the company of his brother, but on occasion loved to have Ryan rub his belly.  And he would purr so loud!  Mulder had a little white "superman" patch on his chest that helped us identify the little orange fur balls in their first days with us.  The patch and the unusually dark pink shade of Mulder's nose made him, in my opinion at least, one of the handsomest cats I'd ever laid eyes on.

Mulder gave us quite the scare back in 2005, when he developed a huge tumor at the site of his vaccinations.  Deep down inside I wondered if the stress of going from the most spoiled cat on earth to just a cat after Nora's birth didn't have something to do with his illness.  Despite the change in our family dynamic, we weren't going to give up on him!  We opted for surgery, and was told he would have 6 to 12 months after that.  Well, he showed those doctors!  His lifespan was doubled from that day forward.  He never quite got his kitten spunk back, but he seemed content to nap on his blanket in the hamper.

I think the sadness that is weighing the most heavily on my heart is the fact that Mulder, Scully, and our cat Kallie-Roo are currently living with my parents, since no one will rent to people with three cats, a dog, and two kids (and now a rabbit too).  I knew deep down inside that moving would be tough on his already weakened system.  How I wish there had been another way, but to keep him in a home that was falling apart and full of mold was not good for any of us.  I also feel terrible that my mother was the one to find him, and that my Mom and Dad buried him.  This is such a sad burden for them, especially since they just lost their own cat Angel within the past year.  I am sorry to have caused them with more sadness.  But I'm grateful as well.  Since this was his time to leave this life, I'm thankful that he was surrounded by so much love instead of being locked up in some shelter cage.  That was a possibility that never came to be because of my parent's generosity and willingness to care for my orphans.  My mom spoiled him more than I possibly could have, and I'm happy for that.

Nora and Emily seem to be ok with the news.  Emily's initial response was we should get a fish to replace Mulder. A slow swimming fish, so she could use her cowboy rope and lasso it.  And then she told me I had boogers in my nose and to stop crying.  Nora is taking the news a little bit harder.  She hid her head under the pillow and said she didn't want to think about it.  I think she is very sad simply because she had hoped we would someday get the cats back, and this was never in her plans.  Even at the young age of 7 we can get so caught up in our plans of the future!  Life can be cruel though, those plans never quite pan out the way we think they will.

I certainly did not think I would be writing this post today.  But here I am.  Still sad, still full of boogers and tears.  Since that doesn't help though, I'd like to end with a few words from the Buddha.  Its a mantra you can say when someone dies.  We Buddhists don't distinguish between humans and animals, between pets and pests.  They are all living beings, and they all deserve our love, respect, and heartfelt prayers.  This is a little Sanskrit for you Mulder.  May you find all the causes for happiness in your next adventure.  May blessings and teachers be bountiful in your new world.  I sincerely hope that since you passed on the most auspicious day of Chokhor Duchen, the anniversary of Lord Buddha's first turning of the Wheel, that you have decided it was time to move on to greater things.

Tadya-ta, ga-te ga-te, para ga-te
para sang ga-te, bodhi so ha.

 

Saturday, June 16, 2012

First Grade at Spencer Pointe: Part 1

Here it is, the end of the school year, and I haven't posted about Nora's first grade experience. Now its over, and she's already looking ahead to second grade.  I thought it would be nice to look back on what was a fantastic year.

School started in August, and Nora was so excited to be a bus rider. I think she had always been a bit jealous that Emily got to the ride the bus back in DeKalb, so things were finally even. Every morning we waited at the end of the driveway until the bus came, and then she skipped/ran/flew onto the bus and sat in her assigned seat. Off she went! I have to admit after driving her to Montessori for three years and bringing her into the classroom, this hands-off approach was odd at best, downright impersonal at worst.  However, Nora was happy and that's all that mattered.

Nora was very blessed to have one of the most caring, funny, and loving teachers in the profession. Mrs. Anderson, or Mrs. A. as the kids called her, quickly became near and dear to Nora's heart. She made art featuring Mrs. A., talked about her incessantly, and complained that she should be able to go to school on the "S" days (ie Saturday and Sunday). Mrs. A. loved her back (but I think Mrs. A. loved all the kids, so there wasn't any favoritism or anything going on).

Here are some photos from the first half of the school year. I think Nora had a wonderful first-grade experience, complete with field trips, new friends, and lots and lots of birthday parties to attend. In a future post I'll have Nora share some of her experiences in her own words.

Spencer Pointe 2011

The entrance to the school

Room A-113 and Mrs. A. in pink and chartreuse!

Nora's desk...she was super secret agent number 7.

Mrs. A.'s desk

Smiling on the first day of school





Waiting with Dad for the bus
Bus coming down the road!

Yes, Nora is telling the bus driver where to go.




Beautiful tribute to Mrs. A.  The best part about this pic is that
 Nora really captured her likeness!


Nora's School Photo...she looks so grown up.














Nora was chosen as student of the week
in November.  She made a poster about
her interests and presented it to the class.
The poster...I love that she can go to Mom's work.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Emily's Fifth Birthday Party

Happy Birthday Sweet Emily!!!

After looking over Ryan's schedule for the month of June, we realized that there was one day and one day only we could have Emily's birthday party...June 2nd. That gave us ten days. Ten days is not a lot of time when you're already five months behind on laundry and cleaning, but somehow, we did it! And it was a lot of fun. In retrospect, everything worked out rather well despite the rain. But I'm jumping ahead.

First, I'm really glad we didn't want until closer to June 22nd for her party, since Emily has been walking up every morning for weeks now asking, "Is today my birthday?" or announcing, "Today IS my birthday...I want toys!". So it felt really good on the morning of the big day to say, "Yes honey, its here!!! Happy Birthday!!!" to which she replied, "Did you buy me toys?" Geez. Secondly, since it was so last minute, we couldn't do one of those fancy bouncy house places or anything like that. Quite honestly we didn't want to spend 400 dollars on a party anyways. Nora came up with the very good idea of having the party at the park, just like Ramona Quimby. Ryan and I thought that was a great idea. After all, the playground is new, there's a gazebo, and its just a short walk from our townhouse. The idea of a birthday parade was born. Just add a couple of quick trips to Target and Michael's, and you have yourself a bona fide celebration.

I was so happy that for once the weather was slated to be beautiful. My wedding got rained out, my vow ceremony got rained out, Emily's part last year got rained out...but the weather man promised blue skies and sunshine. We cleaned up the house regardless, and then Ryan ran out to do last minute errands while Emily and I held down the fort. She was sleepy, ended up napping on the couch, and no kidding she wet herself. She hasn't done that in over a year. All over her new dress. Should have served as a warning! Anyhow, I got her into an old outfit, which coincidentally was the same outfit Nora wore to Emily's first birthday party. First hurdle jumped.

Guests started arriving at two, and it was so nice to have Emily hosting her friends from school. This is the same girl, if you recall, who just a few short years ago was in play therapy to learn how to socialize. Her friends Joey, Shannon, and Ben from school joined us with their parents, as well as Sarah and Anna, and cousins Layla and Xander. The house was crowded, so I was happy that we were going outside after decorating our hats. The parade started and we marched to the park. The wind picked up and there were...rain drops??? Hmmmm. Odd. We continued on, Emily running and everyone else trying to keep up.

We got to the park and the kids played. I tried to get the picnic table all set up, but the sky burst open!!! No one could believe it. It started pouring. We grabbed our things and sheltered in the gazebo. I thought it was slightly funny, but I felt bad because I was supposed to be playing host and we were all cold and wet. The kids were not happy to be confined, so Ryan and Tim braved the rain, got the cars, and ferried everyone back to the house. I had NOTHING ready, nothing!!! It was supposed to be an outdoor party, so we totally winged it. Luckily we've done a few of these at this point, so we figured we'd have Emily open presents while the other adults got the food situated.

Needless to say, Emmy was THRILLED. She got a lot of wonderful presents from everyone...thank you so much! My Little Ponies, art supplies, Barbies, great gift certificates, a Lollalopsy named Charlotte, adorable clothes. The girl is set for summer vacay! (And she slept with the art supplies...too cute). We had a rainbow cone cake from the Creamery afterwards with yellow candles, and then the kids went upstairs and played until the party was over. The grown-ups got a chance to mingle as well, and all and all I would say it was a success. So again, thank you to everyone for sharing this day with Em!



PS I've decided to try Flickr instead of using Picassa for the photos. Let me know what you think!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Back to business

I haven't blogged since JANUARY. I just re-read the last post to see what was going on last time I stopped to re-evaluate our life. I mentioned I had started working and that things were getting a bit crazy. I had NO CLUE as to how crazy they would get!!!

The semester is now over and I survived being a working parent...barely. There are rumors that there are mothers out there that manage to work, cook, and clean. How they do that is beyond me. I feel like I'm just starting to wake up from an odd dream, and while it seems like a blur, the mess of this house reminds me that four months in which I stopped cleaning really did happen. I think I may enlist the aid of FEMA to help turn this man-made disaster back into a lovely home.

But enough about that! How are the girls you ask? They are doing great, of course. Nora and Emily are the sunshine of my life. Here's a bit of an update to get you all caught up.

Nora:
Nora continues to do extraordinary at school. She is smarter than I am at this point in time, a fact that she uses to her advantage on an hourly basis. Her grades are off the charts, and her extraordinary teacher Ms. Nicki Anderson continues to offer Nora additional activities and assignments that are more geared to her cognitive skills. In reading and vocabulary, Nora scored in the upper 99% of the children in the state. Not too shabby! She is reading short chapter books on her own (Nancy Drew Clue Crew, the Rainbow Magic Fairies series, Magic Treehouse), and listening to all of the Ramona Quimby books on her iPod non-stop. I believe she's reading at about a third grade level. Her math and science skills also continue to develop. She does complex addition and subtraction problems, and does a lot of worksheets where math is used to solve puzzles. At school they recently hatched some chicks, so she's also an expert on the anatomy of an egg.

Nora has unfortunately decided that homework is NOT her thing, and I've been so busy with work, I haven't been keeping on top of this issue. She is bored with the spelling homework that gets sent home every week and has decided she no longer wants to do it. I haven't yet figured out a way to get her to do her homework without fighting, but I guess I have all summer to figure that one out.

Socially, Ms. Nora is as busy as a bee. She has gone to a number of birthday parties this year for some of her closest friends. She talks a lot about Elizabeth, Alyssa, and Katie, and I'm planning on having a summer slumber party so she doesn't loose contact with these girls who are so sweet. She misses seeing her friends at ACES, the before school daycare service, but she admits she'd rather sleep in. Me too!

Emily:
Emily's language continues to make leaps and bounds, but she still has good days and bad days. Sometimes she speaks so very clearly that you would never ever know she had a disorder; other days she mumbles and speaks so quietly and I have no clue as to what she is trying to express. I would give almost anything to find out if there was something to make the fog that seems to envelop the language area of her brain dissipate. But the biggest and most important improvement happened about six weeks ago. Emily learned to tell us that "I don't know the word for that". YAY!!! She understands that there are things she wants or thinks, and that there are words that correspond with those ideas, and that the adults around her can help supply the language and facilitate communication. PROUD MOMMY right here folks!!!

Since I'm done with work, Emily is no longer at Apple School. In some ways that is sad, because the time spent in a regular classroom was good for her. Academically she kept up with and even exceeded some of the kids in her class. She recognizes all of the letters, can read her name, and is showing interest in learning how to add and read. She had a week where they learned about museums, and she told me she want to work at a "zee-um" (YES!!!!!!!). She had some issues though; there were some bossy little girls at Apple school that would tell her what to do, and in getting upset, she didn't always have the words to express how she felt. But she did tell the teachers, which is HUGE. She understands that we are here to help. I think this is the beginning of the end of Emily's communication issues.

Sweetie pie is finishing up her Pre-K program, and that too has been a big success. She has learned all the names of the kids in her class, and talks about her friend "my Shannon" all the time. She has almost learned to write her name, but continues to struggle with creating a diagonal line. She met almost all of the goals of this year's IEP. She likes school, although the transition from morning playtime to afternoon school continues to be difficult. I am very much looking forward to her all day kindergarten program next year.

There are a lot of other things to catch up on, but I will save those for upcoming blogs. I mean, check out the photo at the top! Yes that's my girls in the Pacific. Like I said, it was a REALLY busy semester! I hope to blog about it all in the summer, knowing full well the number of posts will fall back to few if none in the fall. But I'm a working momma now, and I have to accept that there are only so many hours in the day, and that its more important to spend time with the kids instead of writing about the kids. Until next time, love and light to you all!!!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Never Say Never...

My poor, poor neglected blog. So many things to write about, absolutely no time. Well, I'm taking the time tonight even though I know I have 10 million things to do on the to do list.

You may be thinking, "Why so busy?" After all, the moving is done, the short-sale is just about complete, and the kids are about to celebrate the 100th day of school. There's no more yard to work in, no seed catalogs to pour over, and the holidays are over. Why so busy? Low and behold, I was offered a real job. An honest-to-goodness art history teaching post at a college in the Chicago suburbs. Get this---my students call me "Professor". I'm still reeling in shock, since it was the one thing I always wanted and its the one thing I gave up.

So first a big thank you to my dear friend David who was kind enough to offer me the position. I guess it really is all about who you know! But at this point I do have 5 years experience, and there is no way a newbie could step in at such short notice and teach four new classes. I found out I was officially hired in the middle of December, and its been nose to the grindstone ever since.

I am overwhelmed--OVERWHELMED--by the new responsibilities on my plate. I now have over 100 students!!! And juggling kid schedules has become an Olympic sport. It's been a lot of change for all of us. Days of getting up with the sun instead of an alarm are a thing of the past. I'm up at 5am to put on business clothes (no more pj days). I wake the girls up at 6:20, breaking rule #1 of the house. Oh goodness they can be stinkers in the morning. Nora can't stand it; she moans that she needs more sleep, that she's too tired to move, that I've made a mistake and it isn't actually morning. Sometimes I get frustrated, because the good Lord knows we're always running late, but I laugh too because I am ever so aware that I'm standing in my mother's shoes, and I'm seeing a 7 year old Ivy.

Emily loves the early mornings, because she has been enrolled in daycare. She goes off to what she's dubbed "Apple School", so she joyfully bounds out of bed each day. She's dressed (and its not hard to pick out clothes for her since she recently outgrew her entire wardrobe), and ready to leave in a matter of minutes. Daycare makes life for a working mom a piece of cake. They feed her breakfast and a snack, and they even have a bus to drive her over to her Early Childhood program in the afternoon. She loves her teacher Miss Carrie, and she learns so much! They do science and math and art everyday. Its unbelievable. Its more like a private school than a daycare. She loves it, and I'm not sure, but I think she actually has a boyfriend. Not too bad considering its only week three!

Ryan is adjusting to our crazy new schedule as well. His once doting wife has been replaced by a zombie whose only function in the world is to make power point presentations. The house? Its a mess. The fridge? Its empty. The laundry? Its in two piles, dirty on the floor and clean in the basket. Poor guy can't win. He's been really sweet though, helping me make Excel sheets, keeping the printer running, making dinner out of thin air, etc.

I feel like I'm on a different planet. I never thought I'd be a working mom. Some days I'm so in love with teaching, other days, as I drag my butt home, I wonder what the hell I got myself into. I miss sleep, that is for sure! I miss cooking too. But my plan has always been to work more once Emily started kindergarten, and she starts in the fall. I really had no choice but to take this opportunity; otherwise I would have had to beg Starbucks for a job. And even though a master's in art history makes me the perfect candidate for 'Bucks, I do prefer teaching. It will be interesting to see how it all turns out. I'm hoping the extra work now pays off, so in the future I can simply work when I'm at work, and return to my regularly scheduled life as Mom in the evenings and on weekends.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Underwear Head Strikes Again!

Lately Emily has decided that there is nothing funnier in all the world than underwear. She just can't stop talking about it, laughing about it, running around in nothing but underwear. Ok, the last part isn't actually anything new; anyone that has spent a few days around our girls know they just don't like clothes all that much. But Emily has taken it to a new level.


Can I even say anything as funny as this? On Halloween she kept talking about underwear head, underwear head, and then she decided that underwear head was going to carve the pumpkin. She really gets into it too, shoving her face through the leg hole like that. Underwear head means business! Whenever she's in a silly mood, the talk turns to underwear. The other day she asked for a peanut butter and underwear sandwich. She calls me her underwear mommy. She wants to buy Nora underwear for Christmas. At the end of our grace before meals, she says "underwear hum" instead of "om ah hum". And she laughs and laughs and laughs.

I'm glad she's so jolly. It's nice to see that after all the changes and moves and what-not, she's found that inner joy once again. I just hope she doesn't tell her teacher that I gave her peanut butter and underwear for lunch.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Our New Home: The White House

Seven weeks after the fact I can happily report that our second move of 2011 was a success despite some pretty big odds. I didn't know how we would accomplish it, but luckily, since we hadn't finished unpacking from move number 1, it wasn't all that bad (notwithstanding my back injury. Note to self: No more dragging furniture up staircases alone! No more lifting file cabinets out of car trunks either, got it?)

The kids, Ryan, and I are nicely settled in a newly built townhouse located about 6 minutes away from my sister. Emily has dubbed it the "White House", and it has become a nice home. It is cozy in many aspects; the downstairs is like a great room, so the living room, kitchen, and dining room are all open. Its very modern, something I never thought I'd like, but who doesn't like shiny chrome and granite? While it seems small upon entering the house, there is a family room over the garage that now functions as the world's biggest toy room and the kids are thrilled! We are next to the train tracks, so six times a day Metra flies past to Emily's delight. There is an awesome playground at the end of our circle as well as a dog park for Lacey. Their Dad splurged and got the girls bunk beds, so with a few odds and ends from IKEA plus the stuff we bought from the landlord for next to nothing, we've managed to create a livable space that reflects who we are in less than two months.

For me, I think the nicest part about being here is that we will get to enjoy the holidays together as a little family. The one thing I cried about on several occasions in DeKalb was leaving behind our beautiful fireplace, and the memories of all the lovely Christmases we had had there. The smell of the fresh cut tree, the sound of the pine sap popping as the logs burned, the sight of the kids opening up their presents; it seemed impossible to enjoy the holidays anywhere else. It was the one thing that was so hard to give up, so watching Ryan lug the world's biggest Christmas tree through our new front door and decorating the tree with the girls was especially sweet. While moving in the winter isn't normally considered ideal here in Northern Illinois, for us, the timing couldn't have been better.

Here are some pics of our new place as several of you have requested. Click the box below to open up the album. Yep, this place is posh! Watch it morph from rooms filled with boxes to a home. But please don't think it looks this clean all of the time, believe me, it doesn't!!!

Friday, October 28, 2011

Fun, Fish, and Friends at the Shedd

DeKalb might be a lifetime ago, but some of our dearest friends still reside out in the corn. Since Emily is still asking for the green house, and cries because she misses home now and again, I've decided we can't go back to see our friends out there until we are nicely settled into our new home. In the meantime, our best friends Tim and Rachel and their cutie-pie daughter Anna met us downtown for a day at the Shedd. Tim and Rach very generously paid the admission for Emily and I as her birthday present, so I'd like to say thank you very much!

Ryan and I haven't been to the aquarium since we were kids, and let me tell you, the place has been remodeled into the coolest museum this family has ever enjoyed, hands down. The price tag is hefty, don't get me wrong, but its actually worth every penny. The adults felt like kids again as we marveled at creatures both large and small that we had no idea existed. The kids were in awe, seeing sharks and whales for their first time in their lives.


Emily really enjoyed the animals in the Amazon exhibit, which included fish (duh), snakes, even monkeys! Nora and I recounted Jack and Annie's adventures in the Amazon as we strolled that wing of the aquarium.



Since we didn't get to see Anna this summer, it was really amazing to see how much she has grown up over the past six months. Baby Anna has been replaced by a talking, intelligent, and engaging little girl! She was so excited by everything she saw, and it was really cool to see how comfortable Tim and Rachel have become in their roles as Dad and Mom.


I didn't take too many fish pics, because if you weren't there they'd be boring, but this thing is alive! Cool!


Nora correctly identified the Macaroni penguins at the Shedd from her penguin project last January. The girl has my father's memory.




Nora and Emily spent hours playing in the Yellow Submarine in the lower level of the aquarium. It was impossible to get Emily to leave without a tantrum, she loved it so much. Ryan and I are considering getting a membership to the Shedd because we've never seen Emily have more fun at an exhibit before. On the car ride home, we played Yellow Submarine by the Beatles, and Nora was amazed at the coincidence.

I didn't get any pics from the dolphin show, but I'm happy to report it didn't stink, and Nora didn't leave in tears. So thank you again to Tim, Rachel, and Anna, and hope to see you all again very soon!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Getting you all up to speed...

Hello one and all. For those of you that have been keeping up with us on Facebook, you know its been one hell of a roller coaster ride. Has it really been four months since I've blogged? Yes. Absolutely. And an awful lot can change in four months. I can say with certainty that our family is a very different family than the one that left DeKalb. But the butterfly is also very different from the caterpillar, and the changes we've experienced will help us learn to fly.

It is my intention to start blogging again on a regular basis, but before I do that, I'd like to do a blog montage of the summer to get you all caught up. As time goes on I may add some photo albums of these individual events, but this is what I can do in the meantime.

But enough of that (cue fast-paced montage music here)....

We moved in to our in-laws the first week of June. I would say the first six weeks are a blur in my mind. Unpacking, organizing, donating, throwing stuff away, reassembling furniture, painting the playroom, etc etc etc. This was a big time of transition for everyone. It was hard for the girls to differentiate between "Grandma's House", place of fun and lack of rules, and "home", a place where Mom and Dad do actually insist on both a bedtime and eating veggies. We adults also had a hard time figuring out how to run a home with two sets of parents. To be honest, we never did figure it out

Ryan settled in nicely to his new job as a consultant. Actually, he LOVES it. I am over the moon to see him so happy and productive. I had a hard time getting used to the fact that he wasn't home for lunch everyday, but now that he's fully trained he works from home some days, and has shortened hours on others (to make-up for the 12 hour days), so I feel like we spend a good amount of time together. The kids have noticed he's gone a lot more than he used to be, so the time they do spend together is more precious for all three of them. Bedtime stories are especially sweet (when the kids stay in bed LOL). Here is a pic of Ryan and Emily taken at Choo Choo Johnny's, a train themed restaurant that is a family favorite.

I traveled to Toronto this summer with my cousin Sierra and I met my newest best-friend, Rhondda Smiley. I feel like I've known her since forever. She welcomed me into her home, and we spent and amazing weekend listening to the teachings of Buddhist master Geshe Michael Roach and doing yoga. Sierra and I had a blast driving out to Canada, eh? I even made it into the Toronto Star! (OK, its the back of my head but that is still cool...millions of readers saw me looking at Geshe Michael! What they didn't see was my face, and the dippy-stupid-I-love-this-man grin).

Wednesday evenings in the summer were spent with my best friend of 23 years Lisa and her two children. Nora learned to play baseball, Emily didn't but had fun trying, and it has been great watching our children grow up together and form friendships that, hopefully, will be as strong as the friendship Lisa and I have. In this pic, we are at the zoo, a favorite hangout for the girls!

Although we miss our DeKalb friends terribly, it has been great being so close to our families again. The girls have spent more time with their aunts and cousins in the last four months than they have in the last four years combined. I'm not sure if we will ever be able to move much further from this area. I love my family so much, of course, but there is a closeness now that I didn't realize was missing until we came back. Here are Emily and Layla causing a bit of trouble...something those two are very good at!

Nora and Emily started at their new schools and love every second of it. I will have a separate post on their schooling, as there is so much to share. Both girls are natural learners, and it brings me so much joy to see them thrive in what is truly one of the best schools in the entire state.

We got an offer on the house. A lousy offer by some standards, but an offer is an offer! We are still waiting to see if we will be approved for the HAFA program through Citimortgage. If we are approved, the bank will likely accept the offer, and our credit will be bad but not for long. If the bank doesn't approve, we are still hoping to complete a deed-in-lieu. I personally hope that the offer is approved, because the man hoping to purchase owns a construction company. He builds neighborhoods for a living, and has all of the tools and the capital needed to turn my little falling apart bungalow into a really cute home for someone else. I think that would be good for the neighborhood, which needs all the help it can get. Ryan and I put our hearts into that place, and that effort should show, even if its not for us.

The biggest news which is best for last, is that Ryan and I officially converted to Buddhism. We took several sets of vows that have changed who we are forever. Some of the vows were administered here at home by Lama Claire and Lama Darin, and the last set we took were given in LA by Lama Cliff Spencer, the most amazing individual I've ever had the privilege of meeting. I am not going to say too much more here, because this blog is about the kids, and not our religious views per se. However, if you would like to know more about that aspect of our life, you can click the link for ACI-LA which is at the bottom of this page. Also note that I am the editor of the ACI-LA newsletter, so you can read some of my articles there. (And come on, it was LA!!! Do I really need to tell you we loved it????)

That is the summer in a nutshell. I should say, that is my happy version of the summer. Because in addition to the good times, there were some terrible times as well. As you know its my policy on here to not discuss health issues my parents or in-laws are facing, but that doesn't mean they aren't there. Days of happiness were clouded with worry, fear, and anxiety. I've struggled, and continue to struggle, with how to explain to the girls what is going on a manner that is age appropriate, that is truthful, and I've failed in a lot of respects. I'm beginning to think I haven't even been honest with myself. Other issues have arisen here in this very close living arrangement, and as of last night Ryan and I signed a lease to rent a townhouse in the neighboring town.

And a new chapter unfolds....

Friday, June 3, 2011

Operation Dump the House: A progress report

Well folks, I've been packing for what seems like ages, but its only been a few weeks. I am physically and emotionally spent. All of the stuff I've been combing through has brought up memories and pulled the heart strings, and I'm finding that getting rid of all one's possessions is a full time job. A difficult full time job.

The first step was, of course, getting in touch with an awesome lawyer, which we did. He got us in touch with a realtor, who came over, snapped pictures, and got the house on the market in 36 hours. Yes, 36 hours. The rapidity of this process continues to boggle my mind. My parents live in the same home I grew up in, meaning they've been there for 34 years. We've been here for 6 1/2 years. I suppose I thought that implied letting it go would also take a long time. Wronggggg (said in future teenager Nora's voice).

I had a hard time when the realtor was here, telling me how cute and darling our home was, how salable it was, how if the roof didn't leak it would be worth as much as we paid for it. Ugh. She sold me on my own house, and I didn't want to put it on the market! Then, I realized I was dealing with a professional, and upon re-examining the collapsing garage roof, decided to let her try to make a buck.

Of course having it on the market means showing it, and people want to see it! After about a week of showings, I told Ryan I needed to take it off the market for a week so I could get us out. You also read that right. I have decided I want to pack up the entire house this week an empty it out. Why the crazy rush? Well, trying to keep a house in company clean condition with two very active girls is, for me, impossible. To top it off, I don't have a car, and where are we supposed to go during the showing if its raining?

So I'm packing, I'm purging, I'm donating, I'm doing everything in my power to get this job done, so the girls and I can have a normal summer. I've made good progress in some respects. I can say with pride that the basement, which 2 months ago could only be traversed through narrow, winding paths lined with construction equipment, is almost bare. A dozen contractor bags and many trips to Goodwill took care of that. The living room is almost bare, as are all the kitchen cabinets. All of Ryan's clothes are hanging up in our new closet, and 75% of the kids toys are installed in their new toy room.

We plan on moving the majority of the things we want to keep over the first weekend in June. It will be interesting to see how that pans out. Will do my best to keep you updated....

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Graduation Follow-Up: An Interview with Miss Nora

Here is an artwork Nora did on her last day of school showing her favorite kindergarten memory. She drew several things she loved, including the red brick building, her classroom with the easel used for Spanish (that's the picture by the words I love my school), her cap and gown, and the bookshelves. I asked her to talk about the picture a little more, and typed her responses as she gave them. Enjoy!




Momma: On your last day of school you did an art project called "My favorite kindergarten memory". What is your favorite memory from the school year?

Nora: I liked doing cursive a lot.

Momma: Why?

Nora: Because I liked doing my journal in cursive, like that.

Momma: What subject did you learn the most about?

Nora: Well, I would say reading, because we do it in patterns. Monday is reading, and Wednesday is reading, and Friday. There's only two math days, so I learned more reading.

Momma: What was your favorite story from the whole year to read?

Nora: I don't really know. I liked them all.

Momma: Pick one.

Nora: I think my favorite one was the one that the title was "Dogs Can Save People".

Momma: What was it about?

Nora: On all the pages it showed different things that dogs can do to save people.

Momma: Who were your best friends at school?

Nora: I had a lot of best friends. Illiana, Ashely, Ian, Ivan, and I think that's it.

Momma: In addition to cursive, what else did you like to do in your classroom?

Nora: I liked to count money, and I like adding money. And art. I liked the spoon art, and it bleeds onto the piece of paper, and you use a black crayon to trace the thing you saw on the other side.

Momma: What was your favorite game outside?

Nora: Sometimes on really hot days, they turn on the sprinkler.

Momma: If you had one thing to tell Emily to help her get ready for kindergarten, what would you tell her?

Nora: I would tell her to start reading some easy books off her shelf. I do think we should help her count some money too.

Momma: What would you like to say to your teachers?

Nora: I miss you a lot, and have fun with the new students because new students come every new year. I put hearts on my art too, because I like doing hearts a lot.

Momma: Is there anything else you want to tell me about?

Nora: I don't think so.

Momma: Thank you Nora!

Nora: Can I leave now?

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Nora's Kindergarten Graduation


I am so happy and proud to announce that Nora Grace has officially graduated from kindergarten! The happiness we all feel is slightly bittersweet, for as we celebrate such a big milestone in her life, we are also aware that its a signal of the end of the way we've lived for 6 years. Her graduation marks the beginning of our transition to suburban life with the extended family.

Nora was keenly aware of the amount of change coming her way, and in the days and weeks leading up to the graduation she kept telling me she didn't want to graduate. Starting about 5 weeks ago, she would stand in front of the calendar and ask how many more days she had at Montessori. I'd tell her the number of weeks and days, and then tell her not to worry about the future. She needed to remember to enjoy the present. This worked until the Sunday before graduation. That night, before bed, she wailed that she didn't want this week to come. I held her close and let her cry, because she needed to express her feelings.

The next day she came home from school laughing. She said, "Graduation is just music! I've been afraid of music this whole time!" I was relieved that the impending stage fright had dissipated, and she enjoyed the next two days at school. The stage fright returned on Wednesday night, but I was able to calm Nora down by explaining everyone she loved would be in the audience. Nonnie, Poppa, and Grandma and Grandpa Geier would all be there (little did I know Grandma Esther was also coming!)

The big day arrived. After school, Nora, Emily, and I headed over to the Hair Cuttery. We all got beautiful haircuts (and I cut my once blonde then red now green hair off into a cute bob). Afterwards we went home, and Nora dressed in her new outfit that her Daddy got her as a graduation present. She also opened her gift from us, which included a necklace to wear at graduation, a purse, and a few other girly odds and ends.

The ceremony was beautiful. The teachers and the children at the school did a wonderful job. The kids wore blue caps and gowns and marched in to Pomp and Circumstance. I admit, I cried. The graduation was short and sweet, the kids tossed their caps into the air, and it was over. Coffee and cake and mayhem ensued as the kiddos ran around. I got to visit with my family as well as Ian's Mom and Dad, my friends Rachel and Aaron.

And then it was over. Although there is still a week of school left, the clock has started ticking. Our time here in Northern Illinois is drawing to an end.

Click on the image below to see all the photos.

Nora's Graduation

Monday, May 23, 2011

At odds with the American Dream

What do you do when you sit down and realize that the life you've created is at odds with your beliefs? What do you do when you feel that its your job to help others, to be kind to the Earth, and yet you feel trapped in old habits and patterns? What do you do when money is tight, when the stress is high, and the events of your life start looking like tsunami sized waves that are dragging you under? Well, I guess you have a couple of options. (1) Do nothing, because old habits are familiar and familiar is comfy. (2) Work and work and work and try to change the situation. Build up walls to block the influx of water. (3) Accept that things aren't working, and perhaps they were never going to work out anyways, and go with the flow. Ride the wave and see where it takes you.

Of course you know that we are going to ride the wave, but that is only because Ryan and I have tried options 1 and 2 for YEARS and know from first hand experience its not working!

After a lot of thought, tears of bitter disappointment, as well as a strange sense of relief and freedom, Ryan and I have decided we can no longer afford to live in our old house. The financial, emotional, and time costs are just too high. We, like so many thousands of other Americans, will be using the HAFA program to short sell the house, or more likely, do a deed-in-lieu. We are upside down in our mortgage, and will be for another decade. The roof leaks, the siding is starting to fall off, and the electric is out of code. We need at least 30K to fix the place. We could work and work to pay off another loan, or we can say enough is enough. Financial system of America, you've milked us dry. We want our life back. Basically, we are handing the keys to the bank and saying "Good luck!" We walk away (or float away?) after 6 1/2 years of payments and improvements with a 1000 dollar relocation check. The bank keeps it all.

Everyone we have told about this so far has felt REALLY bad for us. And if you believe in the American Dream, we did fail. Miserably! We had it all: the house, the picket fence, the dog, and we're only keeping the dog. We're also telling people we're getting rid of most of our stuff, to which many wonderful friends and family have offered to buy our things, to store them free of charge, and my Uncle even offered to pay for a storage locker! I want to say thank you to everyone, because I can see how much we are loved, and it warms my heart. I am surrounded by wonderful people. But please, don't feel bad for us! Let me tell you why.

I don't believe a house is the same thing as a home; its the love created by the people inside the walls that make a home.

I don't believe that money has the ability to make anyone happy; and losing money should not equate to losing happiness.

I believe that my time here is limited, and that what I do with the time is important. I have up to this point been wasting most of my time on pointless stuff and empty promises. Its time to be a full-time advocate for others.

I believe that Americans as a society have taken more than their fair share of the Earth's resources, and that our way of life is not sustainable. In our drive to consume and possess more and more and more, we are laying waste to our only true home, this beautiful sapphire of a planet. The idea that each nuclear family has to have their own McMansion full of possessions and two cars and a yard covered in grass instead of edible plants is a selfish dream, and its a dream I don't want to be a part of anymore.

JOY IS NOT IN THINGS, ITS IN US.


A lot of people say yea, that's a great list! I believe in that too. And then they get bored, and go shopping for more stuff. Or they're not happy with their house because it only has 4 bedrooms and they want 5 bedrooms. Or they work 3 jobs so they can continue to subsidize a life that being sold to them by ads on the TV. Buy now and pay later! (And now Momma jumps off the soap box to tell you the plan).

In order to live a life that we can afford on Ryan's income and that allows us to embody our values, we are moving in with my in-laws. They have a four bedroom home that is currently occupied by 2 adults and 2 very large Newfoundlands. My family will live on the upstairs portion of the split level with a few of our favorite things; my in-laws will have the downstairs. We will share the living room and kitchen and have wonderful family dinners together. They have a large yard in which I'll be able to grow veggies for the whole family to eat, and I plan on planting some native species to feed the birds and bugs as well. We are expanding out of the nuclear family into a grand community. Big living, smaller environmental impact.

Nora and Emily are excited to move to Grandma's House (sorry Grandpa, but it will always be Grandma's House). They have a lot of reasons to be happy! First of all, they will be in one of the best school districts in the state. They will receive the equivalent of a private education for the price of public school. Emily's new speech therapist has an office that is less than a 5 minute walk from the house, so I don't need to purchase a car. The neighborhood comes with built in friends and cousins. Plus, the girls will have access to both their parents and grandparents. All that extra love, and smarts, can only help in the long run. Four adults to two children is a ratio that ensures everyone's needs will be met.

Ryan will benefit as well. He has been offered a new job that he's accepted. He is going to be a consultant whose main job is to help teach people how to use computer software. No more making plastic packaging that sits in landfills for thousands of years! The downside for Ryan is he has to travel, so he can no longer ride his bike to work. But since I won't be driving to work (when I get offered work...another story!), we hope we won't be adding more to our current level of auto emissions. But he will have his Mom there to make his favorite foods, so he can look forward to good eats after a long commute. The best part is that he has gained his weekends back. No more old house projects. No more fixer-upper headaches. Time that can be spent with me and our girls.

This post has already gotten too long so I will add more in the future. Now its time to get more stuff ready for Goodwill. Out with the old and in with the new.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Emily's Diagnosis

I received the call from Dr. B two weeks after seeing her at Children's Memorial. She was kind enough to want to explain her findings to me over the phone and personally tell me why she made the decision she did, which I really appreciated. She followed our call with a letter, which is provided below (in italics)with some additional information to help make things less confusing.

Since the time of the initial evaluation, I had the opportunity to speak to her early childhood teacher, Sarah Mack, review her individualized education plan and school reports and speak with Emily's mother.

Emily has expressive/receptive language deficits, social communication deficits, and mild fine motor deficits. She does not have, however, significant rote, repetitive behaviors or perseverative interests that limit her functioning.

Based on the consideration of the new proposed DSM V criteria for an autism spectrum disorder, Emily does not meet the criteria for an autism spectrum disorder (lack of rote, repetitive perseverative behaviors).

Her diagnoses based on my evaluation are:

Receptive Expressive Language Disorder
Semantic Pragmatic Language Impairment
Lack of Coordination


Let me insert a bit of commentary for you to help you digest what the first page of the letter means. In the second paragraph, Dr. B. is laying out the case that Emily has all of the qualifications to be diagnosed with a Social Communication Disorder. She lays this out very carefully because, at the moment, this is not a diagnosis listed in the DSM 4, a guidebook used by doctors and psychologists all over the world for diagnosing their patients. According to the current DSM, Emily has the symptoms of an autism spectrum disorder known as PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Delay-Not Otherwise Specified).

However, the DSM is updated every 20 years, and the new edition will be published for 2013. At that time, Emily will no longer fit into the PDD-NOS category. This, coupled with the fact that Emily (1) does not have the repetitive behaviors so often associated with autism, and (2) she is a very loving little girl, led Dr. B. to go for the newer (and controversial) label of Communication Disorder. For a complete overview of these proposed changes to the DSM-5 please visit http://www.dsm5.org/ProposedRevisions/Pages/proposedrevision.aspx?rid=489#
In the comments section of the website, you will quickly find that many parents are unhappy with this new diagnosis, feeling it is a way for some parents to feel better because their children do not have the autism label.

Emily received three diagnoses, but I will only explain the first two seeing that we all know my kids are not coordinated!

Receptive Expressive Language Disorder:
taken from http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001545.htm

Language disorder in children refers to problems with either:

Getting their meaning or message across to others (expressive language disorder), or
Understanding the message coming from others (receptive language disorder)
Some children only have an expressive language disorder. Others have a mixed receptive-expressive language disorder, meaning that they have symptoms of both conditions.

Children with language disorders are able to produce sounds, and their speech can be understood.

Causes
For most infants and children, language develops naturally beginning at birth. To develop language, a child must be able to hear, see, understand, and remember. Children must also have the physical ability to form speech.

Up to 1 out of every 20 children has symptoms of a language disorder. When the cause is unknown, it is called a developmental language disorder.

Problems with receptive language skills usually begin before age 4. Some mixed language disorders are caused by a brain injury, and these are sometimes misdiagnosed as developmental disorders.

Language disorders may occur in children with other developmental problems, autistic spectrum disorders, hearing loss, and learning disabilities. A language disorder may also be caused by damage to the central nervous system, which is called aphasia.

Language disorders are rarely caused by a lack of intelligence.

Language disorders are different than delayed language. With delayed language, the child develops speech and language in the same way as other children, but later. In language disorders, speech and language do not develop normally. The child may have some language skills, but not others. Or, the way in which these skills develop will be different than usual.

Symptoms
A child with language disorder may have one or two of the symptoms listed below, or many of the symptoms. Symptoms can range from mild to severe.

Children with a receptive language disorder have difficulty understanding langugae. They may have:

A hard time understanding what other people have said
Problems following directions that are spoken to them
Problems organizing their thoughts
Children with an expressive language disorder have problems using language to express what they are thinking or need. These children may:

Have a hard time putting words together into sentences, or their sentences may be simple and short and the word order may be off
Have difficulty finding the right words when talking, and often use placeholder words such as "um"
Have a vocabulary that is below the level of other children the same age
Leave words out of sentences when talking
Use certain phrases over and over again, and repeat (echo) parts or all of questions
Use tenses (past, present, future) improperly

Because of their language problems, these children may have difficulty in social settings. At times, language disorders may be part of the cause of severe behavioral problems.

Outlook (Prognosis)
The outcome varies based on the cause. Brain injury or other structural problems generally have a poor outcome, in which the child will have long-term problems with language. Other, more reversible causes can be treated effectively.

Many children who have language problems during the preschool years will also have some language problems or learning difficulty later in childhood. They may also have reading disorders.

Possible Complications
Difficulty understanding and using language can cause problems with social interaction and the ability to function independently as an adult.

Reading may be a problem.

Depression, anxiety, and other emotional or behavioral problems may complicate language disorders.

This disorder is also known as Developmental aphasia; Developmental dysphasia; Delayed language; Specific developmental language disorder; SLI; Communication disorder - language disorder

Semantic Pragmatic Language Impairment:
taken from http://members.tripod.com/Caroline_Bowen/spld.htm

Semantics
Semantics is the aspect of language function that relates to understanding the meanings of words, phrases and sentences, and using words appropriately when we speak. Children with semantic difficulties have a very hard time understanding the meaning of words and sentences.

This is sometimes apparent from their unusual responses when they are told to do something, and sometimes it is revealed by the questions they ask, and the things they say about words. There is an example here of 12 year old Nerida's interpretation of the word "acquire". In the example, she was unable to detect from the context that she was being asked what "acquire", rather than "a choir" meant.

People with semantic processing difficulties have particular trouble with abstract words like 'curious' or 'vague', words that relate to feelings and emotions such as 'embarrassed' and 'anxious', and words that refer to status (for instance 'expert' or 'authority') or degree (for example, 'essential' or 'approximate').

They have difficulty with idioms, sayings and slang expressions, often taking them literally or interpreting them oddly. For example, when asked if he enjoyed spending time with his friends, a 14 year old with semantic processing problems replied, "I don't see how you can spend time, and I certainly don't see how you could enjoy it because spending time is not something you can do. You can only actually spend money".

Another difficulty children with semantic problems experience is that they may not be able to identify the key point or topic in a sentence, and because of this may suddenly change the subject, very obscurely, apparently thinking they are on the same subject. Here is another real example from a girl aged eleven. Question: "Could you get the book off the shelf and give it to me?" Reply: "The Gulf Stream warms the coast-line"

NOTE: CLOSE QUESTIONING REVEALED THAT THE OBSCURE CONNECTION HERE WAS THE CONTINENTAL SHELF, AND THE GULF STREAM. HER RESPONSE WAS RELATED TO HER DEEP INTEREST IN MARINE BIOLOGY AND OCEAN CURRENTS.


Pragmatics
Pragmatics is the area of language function that embraces the use of language in social contexts (knowing what to say, how to say it, and when to say it - and how to "be" with other people).
Children with pragmatic difficulties have great trouble using language socially in ways that are appropriate or typical of children of their age. They often do not understand that we take turns to talk, and they will "talk over the top of you" at times, or, at other times respond to what you say with inappropriate silences, or in a voice that is too quiet. They may interrupt excessively and talk irrelevantly or about things the listener shows no interest in. Their communicative behaviour often appears rude and inconsiderate.

They often do not assume prior knowledge. So for example, one boy explained to me in minute detail how to wash a car, wrongly assuming that I needed (and wanted) the information and that I had never washed a car.

On the other hand, they may assume prior knowledge that the listener could not possibly have, and launch into a long disquisition without describing in sufficient detail the participants, location and general background of their story.

They can go on far too long telling stories, and include so much detail that the listener becomes disinterested.

Pragmatics skills include:

knowing that you have to answer when a question has been asked;
being able to participate in a conversation by taking it in turns with the other speaker;
the ability to notice and respond to the non-verbal aspects of language (reacting appropriately to the other person's body language and 'mood', as well as their words);
awareness that you have to introduce a topic of conversation in order for the listener to fully understand;
knowing which words or what sort of sentence-type to use when initiating a conversation or responding to something someone has said;
the ability to maintain a topic (or change topic appropriately, or 'interrupt' politely);
the ability to maintain appropriate eye-contact (not too much staring, and not too much looking away) during a conversation; and
the ability to distinguish how to talk and behave towards different communicative partners (formal with some, informal with others).

Semantic-Pragmatic Language Disorder
Children with SPLD (called semantic-pragmatic disorder (SPD) in some literature) have a language disorder that affects both semantic processing and the pragmatics of language use. Some authorities see SPLD as part of the autism spectrum of disorders while others see it purely as a language disorder.

I once said to a twelve year old with semantic and pragmatic difficulties "Tell me all about yourself." He responded, perfectly seriously, with "It will take a very long time", and made an immediate start!

Although isolated examples like the ones here can appear quite amusing and even endearing, these difficulties with word comprehension and social aptitude can be extremely embarrassing, upsetting, confusing and frustrating for the child with SPLD, and can give rise to teasing and criticism of the child.

Family, peers, teachers and other adults need to apply great sensitivity to guiding the young person with SPLD. Understanding the nature of the disorder is helpful in this regard.

Assessment
Speech-Language Pathology treatment is planned on the basis of a formal language assessment, interviews with the client and their caregivers and clinical observations.

It is always necessary to determine whether the client has:

isolated semantic processing difficulties OR

isolated difficulties with the pragmatics of language use OR

a combination of the two OR

semantic pragmatic language disorder (SPLD) OR

SPLD in combination with another communication disorder that is NOT in the autism spectrum, for example, developmental apraxia of speech OR

SPLD in combination with another disorder in the autism spectrum, for example, Asperger's Syndrome OR

SPLD in combination with another disorder that is NOT in the autism spectrum, e.g., Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).

The diagnosis of isolated semantic difficulties, isolated pragmatic difficulties and combinations of the two is "routine" for many paediatric SLPs. The diagnosis of SPLD can be difficult, lengthy and indeterminate, often involving several professionals in addition to the speech-language pathologist (family physician, paediatrician, audiologist, clinical psychologist, occupational therapist, etc). There are many children with semantic and pragmatic difficulties who don't quite "fit" into a definite diagnostic category.


Intervention
Clinical management of any communication disorder is geared to the unique needs and capacities of the particular client in their particular setting. Children with semantic difficulties, or pragmatic difficulties, or a combination of the two, or SPLD are no exception.

The letter from Emily's doctor ended with her recommendations for intervention.

Therapeutic recommendations include:

Continue with an individualized education plan that include a preschool (blended classroom preferable), speech, occupational therapy, emphasis on social use of language.

Would recommend private speech and occupational therapy.

Enrollment in a private social language group.

Please call with any questions.
Sincerely,
Dana M. Brazdziunas, MD
Director, Developmental-Behavioral Pediatrics
Associate Professor of Pediatrics (at Northwestern)


Feel free to comment here or on FB. Thanks everyone for all the support you've shown over the past two years as we've struggled to understand how we can be of help to my sweet little Emily.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Random Silly Pics


Underpants, check!  Yellow, check!  Crown...crown??  Well I guess today she's a little princess.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Children's Memorial Hospital Visit

The long long long wait was finally over. After receiving a referral to see Dr. Brazdziunas at Children's Memorial in August, we met with our world class doctor at the DuPage Hospital--Children's Memorial Outpatient center.

Emily arrived home from school at noon, and we practically threw lunch into her mouth so we could make our appointment on time. My nerves were shot; I was surprised at how anxious I felt. It seemed liked everything in the world was trying to slow our progress to Winifield: the rain, the fog, the million cops pulling folks over for doing 5 over the speed limit. The longest car ride ever was followed by the world's busiest parking lot. It took 20 minutes to find a space inside the parking deck. I really was concerned we'd miss our appointment and have to wait another 9 months to see the doctor. Emily, on the other hand, had no idea what we were doing and took everything in stride. My little sweetie sometimes has more sense than her Momma.

We made it on time, thank goodness. Emily was seen right away, and the appointment progressed very much like the testing she's undergone in the past. Dr. B and Emily played a series of "games" that allowed the doctor to judge her progress in the areas of language, social interaction, cognitive abilities, and physical development. As they "played", Ryan and I sat and observed in the room.

The first test was given with the aid of a book. Emily was asked to look at a series of pictures and identify the objects and colors by name. She did very well in that task. When asked to count objects, she was able to do so with precision. The next part of the test involved the doctor describing objects with a bunch of adjectives rather than by name. Emily failed this test, and I could feel my heart breaking as she looked at the doctor with complete and utter confusion on her face. The doctor asked Emily to point to the object that was "in a store, made of metal, that food goes into when mommy is shopping". She had no idea that was the description of a grocery cart, even with the picture of a grocery cart right in front of her. Several other objects were described in a similar manner, and again Emily failed to understand the relationship between the words and the object described.

The second portion of the session involved role playing with a set of family dolls. There was a mom, a dad, a baby, and some animal pets. The doctor asked Emily to have the family interact, and she had a hard time understanding the directions the doctor was giving. She played with the toys, but in her own way. She was more interested in the animal toys than the human figures. Emily's social interaction was also tested with a baby doll. The doctor gave Emily the baby to see how she would treat it. Emily rocked the baby, talked to the baby, and even shared some of her goldfish crackers, which made me proud.

The last portion of the testing looked at Emily's physical development and coordination. As her OT therapist noted in the past, her muscle tone is low. This would explain why she was late to crawl, late to walk, and still has trouble with potty training. It's the reason why, at school, she is still struggling to hold a pencil in the correct manner. It could account for why she is so uncoordinated, but I think a lot of that has to do with the fact she is my child! (I trip over my own feet on a regular basis). Emily will never grow up to be a professional athlete, but as a scholar myself, I'm ok with that. She did manage to jump around for the doctor without falling over, and made us all laugh when she ducked under the table to hide from the crazy balloon.

When the testing portion was over, Dr. B. left the room to go over her findings. When she returned, she surprised Ryan and I by saying she had decided to wait on diagnosing Emily until she could talk to her teacher, Mrs. Mack, and her speech therapist at school. She felt that Emily was a unique child, and not easy to classify without further information about her peer-to-peer interactions. What she did tell us was that Emily's cognitive abilities are almost off the charts. She placed in the top 90% of her peers for smarts (she gets that from me too!! J/K). Unfortunately her language abilities were much much worse than I expected. She tested in the bottom 10% of her peers for expressive and receptive language. Wow. That is pretty bad, and hard for a parent to hear, especially since I have been so pleased at the progress she's been making. She's a chatter box compared to her former self, but next to her peers she can barely communicate. Her lack of coordination was noted, but not necessarily seen as a major problem.

And now, the waiting game continues.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Kids Say the Darnedest Things!

Another installment of the short feature chronicling the stuff that comes out of Nora's mouth...

At dinner tonight Ryan dropped his head into his hands and announced, "I'm sooo flippin' tired!" I shuddered a bit, glad he didn't say any other "f" word because he really was tired and not necessarily thinking straight. Then Nora pipped up, "You're flippin' tired! Flippin like you flip a pancake? Then you better flip yourself onto your bed!"

She's so sweet. And innocent. I love that.